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Today's theme is Action: Understand what it means to be "proactive" as we discuss clearing and preventing the "doom piles" that show up in our lives... Click or scroll to read the full newsletter.
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- What if You Missed The ADHD Project Pocast?! - Don't worry, you can check it out here! In episode 4, we challenge the "What-if?" questions that seem to plague us with downward spiraling thoughts. What if it doesn't work out? What if it does but you don't like the results
This week, we're focusing on "Action," and a familiar trap: being entirely reactive instead of proactive. An obvious example are those nagging chores and household tasks. We wait until something is a problem before addressing it, but by the time it reaches that point, it takes much more effort than it would have before. This can trigger a procrastination cycle and a massive, overwhelming build-up.
It's easy to say, "just be proactive," but what does that actually mean?
Living with ADHD feels like it requires constant mental effort. And it does. But we have a choice: make a smaller effort upfront or wait and make a bigger effort later. Once you're caught in the cycle of waiting, and everything in your home or life becomes an overwhelming doom-pile, it feels impossible to dig out. By avoiding the effort now, you're creating more for yourself later on.
Here’s the Realization That Changed Everything for Me: Something being dirty or cluttered is just part of the natural cycle. Things are clean, then they get dirty, and then they get cleaned again. Remembering that this is a cycle—and wherever you find yourself in it is okay—can go a long way in reducing the guilt and emotional difficulties of facing a daunting task. This isn't a moral failing; it's just where you happen to be in the cycle.
The Power of Proactive Management: Proactive management doesn't mean everything is clean all the time. Proactive means you create a plan, a regular schedule, and work on your tasks consistently. To break the cycle of reactivity, here's what I recommend:
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List the Chores and Projects: Write down the chores, projects, or tasks that are hanging over you and break them into smaller, manageable steps.
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Dedicate Just 5 Minutes: Set aside 5 minutes each day for each task. Make progress little by little, and you'll be amazed at the change.
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Release the Guilt and Shame: Recognize that the pile of dishes isn't a failure; it's just the stage of the cycle you're in. When you stop feeling guilty, you'll be surprised how quickly things change after just a few minutes of effort each day.
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Build Consistency: Once you've cleared the initial backlog, staying proactive gets much easier. It's far less effort to wash 5 dishes a day than 50 dishes at the end of the week.
My motivation to wash dishes every day is fueled purely by my desire to not have any dishes left to do! Whatever works to get our brains to cooperate, right?
Let’s all commit this week to taking small, proactive actions and releasing the shame. You deserve to live in a space that feels good and to approach it without guilt or dread. Here's to breaking the reactive cycle, one dish or laundry pile at a time.
Thanks as always for reading,
Aaron Frank
Founder, The ADHD Project